We Learn To Live With Ourselves

by Until Yesterday

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released April 14, 2015



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Delayed Gratification Records Pataskala, Ohio

Record label based out of Pataskala, Ohio focusing on short runs through various mediums.

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Track Name: Spring Rain
I've been staring at the ceiling, You turn your head and watch the sun set.
All I see is gray and you aren't there, so why bother trying?
You won’t love me anyway, or at least not in the way that love is meant to be.
If you keep pushing me away, the only thing you’re left with is the sound of the spring rain.
It always happens the same way. Suddenly I’m nothing. You’re walking away.
I’m learning your ways, the closer I that get, the more it’s killing me.
Give just to take away. You've been growing colder with time.
Bloom just to wilt. Yet we were beautiful in our prime.
You've been losing my trust. I never see your face anymore, you’re always turning your gaze.
A face of stone. Now the only thing I hear is the sound of raindrops on the windowsill.
Track Name: When Light Leaves The Room
Giving up at the sight of you makes me wonder why we even try.
We sit and stare at the ground with faces turned away from the ones we love. Why do you turn away?
All I do is wait because you said you’d stay. I forgot the color of your eyes, as I’m sure you’ve forgotten mine.
In the motion given to us, we stand still with the blankest faces.
We don’t know where to go. The darkest days have come, and I don’t know where the better days have gone.
I can’t see in the dark. The light left the room. You took it with you.
All that is will cease. All you know will cease to be.
The sun fell out of the sky and the oceans tide turned on itself for the last time, because I forgot the sound of your voice.
The only one I know. Don’t know it anymore. The harder we try, the wider grows the great divide.
I guess it’s just the passing of time. Lack of sleep, no peace of mind. I swear, I tried.
Although I walk alone, you should know, that’s when I feel at home.
You lay in bed and think about who you are and what you’ve done.
You sit and stare, your hands are bare because you let all the ones you cared about go. When did you become so cold?
You left me all alone but still I know, I know there’s hope for you.
When the light leaves the room, you’ll see that our true colors show.
The darkness suits you well, for I know that’s where your heart will dwell.
Track Name: I'll Be Fine
It would take more than words could ever say to convey what we have done to live. Desert your state of mind. The artist is starving.
The famine’s taking over and fires burning out, the one we lit to give us peace of mind. Do you remember when we were the purest kids?
Your state of mind is changing and I can no longer keep up.
I tried so hard to fix this. An arrow through your head.
You’re baring scars on your wrist, and I’m sorry I wasn't worth it. When will you wake wake up?
Your demons are standing at the edge of your bed frame. They are the same as mine but I’ll be fine, or at least get by. It’s too much all at once, and I feel I’m going alone. I know you’re right beside me, but lately I've been growing cold. Eyes like boarded windows. A heart made out of stone.
Buried underneath the wreckage that I’ve made by myself.
With nothing but my hands, I did this. I made these wounds with my hands.
I've been breaking my back trying to carry you out of your shallow grave
How can I lift you up when I’m going down?
Track Name: Still At Fault
I have become what you are. Can’t face these days going alone anymore.
An Empty head is all you've given me, my thoughts will never surface, they’ll never see the light of day.
Now that you've just been sinking,
the only peace of mind you get is when you run away from everything that made you love this.
Unstable nature. Guess we never had any to begin with, but still, we try to achieve it.
I want to love all that you are, but how can I when I can barely love myself?
So speak up, speak up, you know it’s what you wanted.
I miss you when I’m with you, you’re not the person I knew.
Why do I expect for things to change, when all I do is stay the same?
You've been staring blankly for hours.
Your eyes are colder than I could even remember, and my head is empty, void of the memories that kept me company.
All I know is that I’m still unstable, I could break at any moment.
Yet still you love me, and I am grateful for it.
These thoughts are creeping back in, the never ending struggle.
I've been trying, to give you my love but the cycle breaks before I even start it.
The cycle breaks before I even start it. Now I can barely face it.
So speak up, speak up, you know it’s what you wanted.
I miss you when I’m with you because you’re not the person I knew.
Why do I expect for things to change, when all I do is stay the same?
Now I get nothing. You left me stuck in shame.
That’s all I ever wanted, to just be something greater just to be before our time would end.
Now we know that it won’t happen, now who’s to blame for it?
Track Name: We Learn To Live With Ourselves
Maybe everything we've ever done is now in vain.
You've grown cold. I've done the same, and I've been restless for countless days.
I’m no longer taking the blame.
Can you live with the constant shame?
Bottle it up, swallow it down, like the pills that you take to keep your feet on ground, you said you’re better off on your own,
but here we stand, you’re crying, holding your head in your hands.
Where do we go from here? I’d rather throw my life away than let you sulk in this shame. Slave away. Dig until there’s no dirt left. Morning dawns. Feel the sun on your skin. You've been digging your grave, slave to these things that you feel. You know we've both made mistakes, and it takes time to heal, but you will always be loved.
We learn to live with ourselves.
So stay. I've been watching you try to run away.
I circle back to the same place every single time I hear your name.
Remember the days when we were free?
I know those days will come once more, we must learn to endure this life that has been given to us the root of this is love.
Track Name: Captive
I know that this isn’t like you, and you know that this isn’t much like me. It’s just the way it has to be. I keep telling myself that things will be alright in the end, but I don’t know if I truly believe it.
For the past few months I’ve been hoping and praying to look into Gods eyes, and meet him face to face. Maybe one of these days I can finally see the place where I can escape from the hate that I feel every single day.
Why do I feel this way? I ask myself every single day, and it’s a damn shame.
If I could take back all the moments wasted, maybe then you’d appreciate it.
Drove myself to insanity trying to make you feel something.
I wasn’t worth your time, so you won’t be taking anymore of mine.
Suffering derives from desire, and all we do is isolate, I hope you can sleep at night. I’m sorry that I couldn’t be anything you want me to be.
Erased. You won’t hold an impression. Your side of the bed will remain vacant. Close your eyes and drift into an everlasting slumber to escape from the demons you’ve been hiding.
Suffer well child, I can see it in your eyes.
Suffering derives from desire, and all we do is isolate. Isolate your mind, wooden eyes. Held captive in your eyes.
Track Name: When You Think Of Me
You migrate to the only place that you feel loved.
I came back but it no longer feels like home, when I go back to you.
Maybe I’m weak, maybe you’re stronger than me.
When you watch me as I go, I know it’s killing you just as much as it’s killing me. I can’t handle the weight of the doubt that you’ve given me.
There’s nothing I can do. Your body feels so cold.
God knows that’s all I wanted to do, so why must you prove me wrong?
I tried so hard to show you love. I’ve been walking through dead gardens.
The soil smells of death and I’m tired of bearing these burdens by myself.
Left me buried in this hell. Just come home, rest your head for the night.
Can’t get your face out of my mind, no matter how hard I try.
So when you think of me, I hope it always reminds you of what we could have been. I’ve been lying awake for countless nights and I wonder if I even cross your mind. Sight for the sorest eyes. Hollow head, you’re better than this.
I just wanted to help with golden intentions.
Now you’re gone. You abandoned all you’ve known.
Track Name: Winter
Rebuild me from the inside out. Constructing a safe haven from doubt in myself and in everyone else. Show me trust, show me love. Flourish in springtime, fading in winter. The season brings with it a desire to see a change in the world. We’re living to hope and to suffer.
Planting the seed, bloom and thrive. In time we die, only in winter we leave behind the seeds. The messages through generations. The cold is killing me. Warmth is all I seek. Snow fall on my skin,
lost inside my head. Sun inside our heads, breathe in life again.
Fire burn me and wind carry me home.
Never forgetting the things that you’ve done and warming the cold inside my heart. Let it be, let it go. Hear your voice in your waters. Watch the tides turn in your favor. Living to love those that hurt us is all that I know. My bones are rebuilding in this moment. Flowers blooming inside my head after my death. Face to face. Heart to heart. Ashes to ashes. Dust to dust.
This is the cycle of the human life. This is the only thing that’s mine.
God I need to see the light but I’m afraid to step out of this shell that I call my body. My mind is the darkest source I know. Memories buried below the soil. You’ve killed all I know.
Track Name: Ache
Your impression leaves the worst ache in my back. You've been exposing everything I lack. Your window pane, keep it locked for me. Shut the curtains, shield your eyes. You and I were just a failure by design.
Track Name: Strain
Suffer just for the night. Separation is the root of your loathing. It’s been tearing away at your mind. Abusing substances just to numb yourself from the pain. You locked your soul away, your skeleton, your bones, a withering cage. Pry away. I’ve been praying that you’ll see the day where you can make peace with your pain, and see the light of day. So I’m letting go of my hate, but the past still gets to me. Its still gnawing at my brain. Whispering sounds of shame. Wander that hollow head, and maybe then you could tell me why you feel so worthless and why you feel so abandoned? So tell me, do you feel isolated? Separated? What good are you dead? Remember that you’re still here. I never left your side, and it kills me to see the doubt in your eyes. I’ve given all I have to your will and it’s never good enough but I’ve been trying, just to show you how much you’re loved. The gallows have been crying out the sound of our names. Only true grace shows permanence, and you’ve been fading away. For days, and weeks, now months on end I’ve been carrying my cross to bear. I’m losing you to your agony, but just know that I’m still right here.